Yes, there is always plenty of chatter about our perennial Super Bowl hopefuls. But I also find that there is always some angle to Seahawks coverage that just doesn’t seem to get enough airplay. This column is dedicated to that “elephant in the locker room.”

I really don’t do myself any favors by reading Seahawks news. In many ways, Seattle head coach Pete Carroll is the perfect explanation for the drift away from print media into video-clip coverage and podcasts. He’s more or less understandable when you hear him talk in his stream-of-semi-consciousness syntax-free patter… but, wow! When you see his words in print, that’s another matter.

I was reminded of that this week while reading an actual print copy of my actual local actual newspaper, The Methow Valley News, published by an actual person (rather than a corporation) who is an actual editor.

It appears we have actual coaches here in the valley, as well, who actually think before they actually speak using actual grammar and actual words.

Or do they?

Here are a couple of examples from the Liberty Bell High Lady Lions coach Lincoln Post, talking about his team’s back-to-back overtime wins in a bid to return to the state tournament.

First: “We as coaches not only try to develop skills and tactical strategies but most importantly try to develop a team chemistry where the players trust each other and play as a whole, going beyond where they can as individuals,” Post said. “Both of the games this week showed an incredible resiliency and effort that surpassed any of our previous games this season.”

And again: “I thought that intensity of the Brewster game was high but the Tonasket match was at another level,” Post said. Both teams scored quickly with what Post described as beautifully executed goals. “Thus began the most amazing back-and-forth game with the lead changing sides but neither getting ahead by more than one goal.”


“An incredible resiliency and effort that surpassed any of our previous games”? Or “Thus began…”?

I will translate Post into Pete-speak: “Yeah, you know the coaches we and the guys, you know the staff, we do try to do stuff and things to help these kids out so it’s fun for them and for us and do those things so it turns into trust and back and forth with us and them, so that’s what we mean by team. And they get that, and we get that, and them. And they hang in there and stuff ’cause we’ve been there and they’ve been there and every week is a championship opportunity and it’s cool. We play things close and always finish strong and close, like at Brewster, and again, it was close and exciting and cool to see them do that. But it’s always close and a championship opportunity for us and our guys.”

You think I’m joking? I’m not joking.

Take, for example, Pete’s summary of the overtime win against San Francisco.

“It was so much fun,” Carroll said. “It was a blast and we realized it was a big opportunity. It was a big opportunity in so many ways for us to get better and learn and to grow and all of that and to take it all the way down to no time left on the clock couldn’t have been better. … We milked every second out of that game and it was a lot of fun.”


Or take a look at Pete’s words about Tyler Lockett’s injury in that game.

“He just had a big bruise on his shin and the swelling issue is what was of concern. It should be OK. It shouldn’t be a big problem going forward, and it’s great we have the week. There’s concern when that happens that you can have complications and stuff like that.”

Okay, Pete. Thanks for the insightful update.

Now, is this all Pete’s fault? No, not really. What with the downturn in media budgets in general, news outlets are turning to cheaper and cheaper options for cranking out the column-inches, and that includes both automated verbatim transcription of recorded interviews and firing every editor they can find hiding behind the watercoolers and crates of ink.

So when Pete blathers… well, it just gets reprinted. Gone are the days when an editor would turn “There’s concern when that happens that you can have complications and stuff like that” into “Coach Carroll noted that the Seahawks are always worried about the potential of complications arising from simple injuries like contusions.” Sure, that’s what Pete implied, and maybe even what he meant to say if his brain weren’t crowed with Xs and Os, but gosh if it ain’t too much trouble.

Did Lincoln Post really say “Thus began the most amazing back-and-forth game,” or did those words actually originate with editor Don Nelson?

I don’t know. And I don’t care.

I just kind of wish that Don included some pithy Hawks coverage in the Methow Valley News.

But he’d probably go broke editing Pete Carroll.